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    Affordorable.com

    is a virtual space where Liyana Aris documents her evolving modest personal style, which is based on the art of looking casually stylish while still remaining modest and doing it all on a budget; about 93% of her closet are filled with affordable things. (PS: The remaining 7% has a lot to do with her secret addiction to Adidas shoes and her occasional splurges on discounted high-end bags and clutches, shhh.) [+]
    22.10.16 .

    Has This 'Keen Interest' With Looking Younger Already Started?


    My younger sister Rina and I were shopping together on the day this photo was taken. She was contemplating which kind of lotion to buy when she called me over to help her decide (since I'm a drugstore lotion enthusiast of some sort, being someone who cannot not moisturises her dry hands after they come into contact with water).
    As we were discussing her needs and wants in a lotion (I told you I'm an enthusiast), I noticed the sale staff who was helping her studied the both of us before asking, "Are you two twins?"

    Rina and I looked at each other before I burst out laughing - unnecessarily overjoyed at the fact that people think I look like I'm six years younger than my 30-year-old self - before telling her that I'm the elder sister, at which point she proceeded to ask do we have one or two years gaps between our ages? After Rina pointedly stressed that I am a whole 6 years older than she is, the sales lady went, "Oh. I thought she was younger", while pointing at me. 
    (PS: Obviously some people have yet to grasp the concept of boundaries and limits, I think.)

    The thing is, that wasn't the first time it happened; plenty of people had mistaken Rina and I for twins or mistaken us for each other, which I mentioned in her Raya outfit post. Thankfully, Rina and I both find it all amusing, and she loves and adores me enough (she'll deny this if you ask her, though) to not find it in the least bit annoying. 
    Well, at least, that's what she says to me, which I am grateful for.

    What I want to bring up in my post today is, as you can tell from the title: can I really be at that age where I'm already pleased when people think I'm younger than my actual age? Or I guess the real question is: is it normal to feel that way already?

    I remember thinking 30 is such a grown up age to be at when I was 20 years old, but now that I am 30, I certainly don't feel like I portray what my 20-year-old self saw in a 30-year-old back then. I mean, perhaps I'm the tiniest bit wiser. More practical. More logical. Feet firmer on the ground - more than when I was in my teens and early 20's, floating on clouds of fantasies and daydreams. I definitely am more proud of my 30-year-old self than the unsure person I was back then.

    If I take pleasure in people thinking I'm younger, does that automatically mean I'm already worried about "looking older", at the mere age of 30? Should that even make sense? I mean, if I'm thinking logically and practically, like what any wise adult should do, I'd tell myself I'm being ridiculous; that it's just me letting myself to think that it is the expectation of others that is trying to convince myself to "always look youthful", when in reality others don't and shouldn't even care; that I should be embracing being 30 and whatever that comes with that age.

    I have to admit though, unfortunately thinking logically and practically is not my absolute forte - why else would I need to own two white Stan Smiths, if I were so logical and practical, for example? And a different, much smaller part of my brain seems to inquire if I should perhaps start looking and acting "more like my age"? Something that I don't believe should necessarily be applied to everyone, because I believe in being happy just by being your whole self and looking like however you want you to look.

    Remember back when we were in our early teens, when it gave us real pleasure when someone thought we were 17 instead of 14? Or when our parents' friends say "Your daughter looks mature for her age"? Or even when a person commented "You're only 13? You're really tall for your age!", and we would be all pleased, like we had a real hand in our height shooting up?

    I don't know if statistics have been done to study this (they should), but I'm going to bet that a vast majority of girls and women will go / are going / have gone through these two stages in life: 1) Wanting to look older than their real age, and 2) Wanting to look younger than their real age.

    Isn't that really interesting? I know I said "I'm going to bet that a vast majority of girls and women will go / are going / have gone through these two stages in life", but obviously I don't know for sure if it's true, but if it is, I also know that it isn't just a lucky guess. Because, well, it's a fact. It has to be.

    I don't look younger than Rina, but I probably don't look older either (and I think we certainly don't look that similar at all, let alone like twins!). If we're talking about Rina and I and the wrong assumptions people make about us, it's really only because of the way I dress - which is usually loud, and a little unusual, perhaps - and the way I carry myself versus the way she carries herself; I'm an introvert but naturally bubbly and noisy in the company of the people I feel comfortable with, regardless of when I'm in public or not, whereas Rina has more composure (except in the way she laughs; our mom thinks her laughter will scare off her future in-laws).

    What I really find intriguing is the personal way I feel whenever people make those wrong assumptions; being ONLY 30 years old, I can't decide if the feeling is natural - or if I need a major attitude adjustment, and also a change in my behaviour (remember when I mentioned about what the smaller part of my brain is telling me to do?).

    But if I really think about it, every single of the "wise adults" I have known have flaws in their logical and practical thinking, too. Maybe not all worry about looking younger, and maybe they don't all have two almost identical pairs of white sneakers, but they have their own vices, for sure - like calling themselves fat when they're not, which I don't do, but so many women do - so I feel like at the end of the day, there is no perfection in growing up. Everybody grows up imperfectly, in their own way, with their own grown-up flaws, based on their own personal insecurities.

    And mine just happen to be this. Oh well.

    What do you think? Any positive thoughts would be much appreciated, really, but oh my God you guys THANK YOU for making it all the way to the end of this post. I hope your weekend will be great! XO


    My younger sister Rina and I were shopping together on the day this photo was taken. She was contemplating which kind of lotion to buy when she called me over to help her decide (since I'm a drugstore lotion enthusiast of some sort, being someone who cannot not moisturises her dry hands after they come into contact with water).
    As we were discussing her needs and wants in a lotion (I told you I'm an enthusiast), I noticed the sale staff who was helping her studied the both of us before asking, "Are you two twins?"

    Rina and I looked at each other before I burst out laughing - unnecessarily overjoyed at the fact that people think I look like I'm six years younger than my 30-year-old self - before telling her that I'm the elder sister, at which point she proceeded to ask do we have one or two years gaps between our ages? After Rina pointedly stressed that I am a whole 6 years older than she is, the sales lady went, "Oh. I thought she was younger", while pointing at me. 
    (PS: Obviously some people have yet to grasp the concept of boundaries and limits, I think.)

    The thing is, that wasn't the first time it happened; plenty of people had mistaken Rina and I for twins or mistaken us for each other, which I mentioned in her Raya outfit post. Thankfully, Rina and I both find it all amusing, and she loves and adores me enough (she'll deny this if you ask her, though) to not find it in the least bit annoying. 
    Well, at least, that's what she says to me, which I am grateful for.

    What I want to bring up in my post today is, as you can tell from the title: can I really be at that age where I'm already pleased when people think I'm younger than my actual age? Or I guess the real question is: is it normal to feel that way already?

    I remember thinking 30 is such a grown up age to be at when I was 20 years old, but now that I am 30, I certainly don't feel like I portray what my 20-year-old self saw in a 30-year-old back then. I mean, perhaps I'm the tiniest bit wiser. More practical. More logical. Feet firmer on the ground - more than when I was in my teens and early 20's, floating on clouds of fantasies and daydreams. I definitely am more proud of my 30-year-old self than the unsure person I was back then.

    If I take pleasure in people thinking I'm younger, does that automatically mean I'm already worried about "looking older", at the mere age of 30? Should that even make sense? I mean, if I'm thinking logically and practically, like what any wise adult should do, I'd tell myself I'm being ridiculous; that it's just me letting myself to think that it is the expectation of others that is trying to convince myself to "always look youthful", when in reality others don't and shouldn't even care; that I should be embracing being 30 and whatever that comes with that age.

    I have to admit though, unfortunately thinking logically and practically is not my absolute forte - why else would I need to own two white Stan Smiths, if I were so logical and practical, for example? And a different, much smaller part of my brain seems to inquire if I should perhaps start looking and acting "more like my age"? Something that I don't believe should necessarily be applied to everyone, because I believe in being happy just by being your whole self and looking like however you want you to look.

    Remember back when we were in our early teens, when it gave us real pleasure when someone thought we were 17 instead of 14? Or when our parents' friends say "Your daughter looks mature for her age"? Or even when a person commented "You're only 13? You're really tall for your age!", and we would be all pleased, like we had a real hand in our height shooting up?

    I don't know if statistics have been done to study this (they should), but I'm going to bet that a vast majority of girls and women will go / are going / have gone through these two stages in life: 1) Wanting to look older than their real age, and 2) Wanting to look younger than their real age.

    Isn't that really interesting? I know I said "I'm going to bet that a vast majority of girls and women will go / are going / have gone through these two stages in life", but obviously I don't know for sure if it's true, but if it is, I also know that it isn't just a lucky guess. Because, well, it's a fact. It has to be.

    I don't look younger than Rina, but I probably don't look older either (and I think we certainly don't look that similar at all, let alone like twins!). If we're talking about Rina and I and the wrong assumptions people make about us, it's really only because of the way I dress - which is usually loud, and a little unusual, perhaps - and the way I carry myself versus the way she carries herself; I'm an introvert but naturally bubbly and noisy in the company of the people I feel comfortable with, regardless of when I'm in public or not, whereas Rina has more composure (except in the way she laughs; our mom thinks her laughter will scare off her future in-laws).

    What I really find intriguing is the personal way I feel whenever people make those wrong assumptions; being ONLY 30 years old, I can't decide if the feeling is natural - or if I need a major attitude adjustment, and also a change in my behaviour (remember when I mentioned about what the smaller part of my brain is telling me to do?).

    But if I really think about it, every single of the "wise adults" I have known have flaws in their logical and practical thinking, too. Maybe not all worry about looking younger, and maybe they don't all have two almost identical pairs of white sneakers, but they have their own vices, for sure - like calling themselves fat when they're not, which I don't do, but so many women do - so I feel like at the end of the day, there is no perfection in growing up. Everybody grows up imperfectly, in their own way, with their own grown-up flaws, based on their own personal insecurities.

    And mine just happen to be this. Oh well.

    What do you think? Any positive thoughts would be much appreciated, really, but oh my God you guys THANK YOU for making it all the way to the end of this post. I hope your weekend will be great! XO

    4 comments

    1. Oh dearest Liyana,
      Welcome to the unfortunate, unequal, unrelenting and unfair world of "women" who are getting older. At 30 you still have at LEAST 5 to 7 years to be considered a "young woman" but as 40 begins to loom on the near horizon you will no longer have that label.
      I'm fairly certain that this is true regardless of geography, politics, religion or culture.
      Of course this is also true of men but they have the luxury of not having to be too concerned about how gracefully they're aging. Any signs of age in the form of wrinkles , uneven skin color, rudiness and loss of firmness in their facial features becomes "masculine ruggedness" and "character".
      At 65 ( as of October 20!) with a goodly degree of wisdom under my belt I can tell you that you'll be young for a long time yet!!! You can enhance the experience of aging by doing these things:
      KEEP YOURSELF FIT. I do weight training, Yoga, Zumba, stationary biking, and treadmill walking regularly. You'll look and feel younger.
      EAT HEALTHY. You'll look and feel younger.
      WEAR WHAT "YOU" LOVE. You'll look and feel younger.
      WEAR SUNSCREEN EVERY DAY. You'll look and feel younger
      I'm going to assume you already knew most of this. You look beautiful and I love your fun, enthusiastic, genuine, and vibrant personality!! You've already figured out that being an adult doesn't mean you won't do impractical things like buying "two" of something you're passionate about! =)
      ACTIVELY CONTINUE LEARNING. It's one of the real perks of getting older.
      I expect great things from you Liyana!
      Much love and respect,
      Judy (Marilee)

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. Judy, your comment just MADE MY DAY, honestly. I'm taking all the wise advices you've shared in this comment, all the way to my heart, and hope I remember them all always as I grow older.

        I agree with you; it's totally doable, but it IS harder for women to "age gracefully" compared to men in general - when it comes to the perception of other, especially! Interestingly, I started to understand this phenomena a few years ago, when actresses above 40 (some even above 30) came forward and shared about how difficult it is for them to nab leading female roles as they kept losing them to the newer, younger generation of 20-something actresses, even when the role is to be played opposite a, say, 50-year-old actor. A while after that I realised this isn't just a Hollywood thing, it reflects real-life; wrinkles supposedly make a man "rugged", but a woman "haggard".

        Well, I said 'supposedly', because I've decided that I'm going to refuse to take that generalisation lying down, so I have to say that I am so happy that there are women like you out there to be inspired by - I mean, weight training, Yoga, Zumba, stationary biking, and the treadmill, all of them? Judy, you can beat me at any physical activity, for SURE. I may know about the many ways to enjoy aging gracefully but I'm certainly flawed when it comes to practising them and taking care of my physical health. Lately it's something my husband and I talk about a lot, and we plan to take action, but I'm definitely in the process of learning!

        Thank you so, so much for the lovely words of encouragement, Judy. Sending love allllll the way from Malaysia XOXO

        Delete
    2. I'm sending love right back to yo Liyana.
      You should know that during the 39 years that I was teaching middle school fitness was NOT a consistent habit as it is for me now. The last ten years of teaching were demanding of so much of my time that I was just too physically (and sometimes emotionally ) exhausted to commit to an exercise regime.
      Our competitive careers and fast paced world makes it increasingly difficult to commit to a healthy lifestyle. You and Shah are a beautiful young couple caught up in an increasingly frantic life pace.
      If the two of you can eek out some time to do a physically challenging, fun activity that you both enjoy and make it "couple prioritu time" it will pay off for you in many ways! Stay flexible with fitness options and each other about experimenting with different activities too!
      Go for a big ol long, fast, walk and brainstorm some crazy fitness fun!
      I'll be cheering you on all the way from Minnesota! =)

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. I can't believe you haven't been this fit the whole time, because you appear as if you do in your photos! You remind me of my boss when I used to work; he was a little overweight when he was younger, but he got into fitness when he was in his late 40's and he looked a lot fitter than Shah and I when he was in his mid 50's - just like you, Judy! I mean it when I say you can take Shah and I on any physical challenge and we would most probably lose, because we haven't been prioritising our physical health.

        That's the problem Shah and I have, when it comes to scheduling fitness time - or if I'm being honest, it's less of a problem and more of an excuse, perhaps =( But we're already taking baby steps, which I'm happy about. I have to say that I love the idea of exercising while making it a date at the same time, though, that's brilliant! =D

        Delete

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